Why am I bothered?

Maybe I am not yet open with this but I am always not comfortable when things get labeled in terms of sexuality.

Okay

 I like both women and men but for others it's ultimately GAY. 

Okay

 I admit I am  gay, if this is how you really define things 

BUT, if I'll be labeled as such then I am scaring off the women who could possibly been my soul mate, my partner, the possible mother of my kids, my ultimate other half. 

Yes, I strongly believe in these things no matter how unrealistic some people find it otherwise. 

Even though I am like this:

I still believe in what my catholic faith has taught me.

I still have dream of a  family, about the meeting of  XY and XX. 

I still want to reproduce and have children, to feel nagged but still love the other half. 

And Yes, I am continuously improving my self partly because of that other person I am wishing to meet. 

Oh my God. 

Damned, I said I was okay but I was just being polite.

I think I am having a nervous breakdown. 

Need to drink some water. 

____________

But on the other side,with all the stuff I've been through.....