free time and past entries (part 4)

4-10-2011

*****Damnation with my life*****

I have been totally depressed for quite sometime now. 

I do not know if this is due to the fact that I am quite dependent on others for happiness or maybe it’s just that I really suck in the happy department.  Tobias, a friend of mine once said that in his German culture, one do not aim at happiness because it will mean that: a.) something will go wrong to balance the whole equation and, b.) there won’t be anything else left to do in this world since it’s a one big final time to be happy. So it shirt they just aim or an okay day.  Actually I do support the first premise but how can I be so mundane?

I hate the word mundane and so I adore happiness so why am I so depressed? Well I’ll tell you why, you sick bastard.

1.       I had a petty spat with Brace. That hooligan for heaven’s sake is affecting my physiological process like a virus. I am becoming too fond of the guy. Don’t get me wrong, I did had some queer fondness at one time but it’s now all down to platonic love. Shit. I miss my little brother.

2.       I think I am sinning due to the fact that I like Tobias and Da-young. Tobias already has a family and not to mention that the cute guy is a GUY!  Da-young at the same time is so entertaining and really really cute.  I also adore her feisty attitude. But then again it can’t be since due to the social standing and I don’t have time for any romantic coupling with foreigners now a days.

3.       I am sucking at work. And it’s in my own standards;

4.       And finally due to the fact that I am psyched out wth my impending master courses to be taken this coming semester.

Oh god I am a sinner and a coward.

I deserve hell right now.