I

Today is a wonderful day outside and I am here inside a very comfortable lab work bench. 

Oh yes, I am a man of science but I am just a man with a dick and a heart. 

So rather than working on my thesis outline,I've decided to take a breather by admiting someothing to those would be able to read this...

Yes, It can be considered as an addiction,but beyong what can be inserted to the body and jsut on the borderline of crazyness. 

I am an attention whore

Tracking it back to its humble beginnings, I think it all started in High school.

The period of our lives  when the jocks were the kings, the geeks were the pets, 

and well, the rich were the stars. 

It was a whole different jungle in a private catholic school, but still I persevere to get through it and manage to accomplish something for a college ticket. 

That was the awkward period of life but I think I never fully managed to let it all go.

At that time,I have always marveled at how people can be out there, armed with wittiness and such zest in life. And mind you, how they could really satisfy the limelight. 

Well,as for me , I was average, poor, and just so plain. 

Passing by College and now Grad school with work.

I realized other than people really don't give a damn but when this people choose...

I am on the lowest part of the selection. 

I though I wouldn't care nowadays but I was suprised when for the past months, it was there. 

That green monster of envy. 

I've always felt alone but I think this was the bigger picture of that feeling. 

I am still hoping for someone to choose me. No need to find me since I am really here in front. 

Well, I do know this is bad form but somehow I managing quitewell on how to mitigate this issue first, then slowly cure my self  while counting all the days that I could finally accept fully who I am so I can really move forward in a giant pacing. 

still counting though...