Monday, October 29, 2012

Free time and past entries (part 18)

HMMM
This sounded too melodramatic and desperate.
tsk tskt tsk.


_______


*****The truth*****


September 4, 2010
12:59PM
Makiling Dormitory

Dear Meijn Aape,

Good evening to you.
Firstly I would like to offer my sincere apologies for being able to send you an e-mail for two days since yesterday because I had another anxiety attack since last Thursday night. I almost killed my self in the process had it been with a stroke of luck and maybe divine intervention as well.  But the incident rendered me weak the next day so I missed work as well. Tragedy it may seem but I took some time off so that I could personally “heal” my self form the ailment.

After last night, I am afraid for my self. My mental constitution has never been strong unlike you; maybe because from birth I have been stripped off with all the things that a “normal” person should have had. I am still think also about the possibility of having the attack in broad daylight, the throbbing and painful gasp in my chest. I don’t know when will be next one, and I am not also sure if the next one will finally kill me. It must be a form of a mental ailment but since I am very good in pretending and lying, no one figured out anything about this.

Frankly Appe, I am ashamed of this. I really don’t want you to know this but I want you to know nevertheless about the truth. Then you can finally decide if you’ll still be love me or not. But even so, I want you to know that I love you.

Good bye Aape.

Ik hou van jou.

Uw Mahal

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