A small spring of hope and the big tremolous sea

Right now I am still feeling a little bit awkward and weak but going back to Bulacan was worth it. There was a small feast of salmon, tuna, blue merlin, pancit, yakiniku, cheese cake and some fruits and vegetable dishes. We even had karaoke and everyone sang and had a great time. I even go the chance to meet Lea. She's really nice and an exact copy of Tita Nene. She even gave me some pointers on what to expect and do when I got to Georgia tehee~

But speaking of Georgia, I just received an email form Sir Bob that he is willing to help me with the costs of the retake in GRE, and he wanted me to get a score of 1000. I know it is a long way but he is giving me options and I really wanted to study abroad because I am still chasing my dream and goals in life. I am still sad about the turn of events but I can't wallow in depression can't I? Since I am now trying to behold my dream into reality. I just hope I won't end up into a garbage bin :P

I am still nervous for tomorrow's work because I still feel uneasy even though Essy already forgave me. Nothing will be the same again. Since I thought all of this since Friday. With all these problems, no wonder my health is failing me since I am trying to bottle up everything. But how can they accuse and already judged me that I have purposely done everything and sounding like I derived pleasures while doing the fuck you sign! It was an honest mistake and accident for Pete's sake! How can they misjudge me!? And the punch line is: Almost everyone know about it, so good bye to my spotless record. Crap! And now she tells me everything is okey? OKEY!? In the name of everything that breathe! How can I be okey when everyone now looks at me with much disgust and tremor to last me until I turned 40? But one things for sure it will be a tough week to start with. But I must still be cool or else I'll be blowing a fuse like in elementary days. I should just act like nothing else changed but I have a limit. One wrong move and I'll be storming heads!!!! Crap I even cried in the C.R. and working place! It even affected my work. Haaay. They all cared about was her feelings but what about mine? Did it even occurred to them that it was cross and I fell really terrible about the whole incident? Geez! How more understanding and supportive "friends" can they get?

Wheew! I feel a lot better now.